She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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