it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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