you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
