check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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