she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
These tits shall not be calmed
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
