ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
