worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
