my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
