and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
