Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
