found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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