I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
