I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
How's work?
Spinning.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
