I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
