Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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