sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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