Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Watching her eat just hurts me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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