I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
