the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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