you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
