It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
