That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
