Hey man sorry I got all grabby
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That accounts for only three of the penises
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
