This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
