What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
