garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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