my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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