we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
