He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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