your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
