You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we made out on top of his cat.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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