Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
