hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
