everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize