How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
