And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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