some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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