Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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