So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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