What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
