ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
