ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
