I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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