you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
