I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's blow job season.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
dude. I can hear the air.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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