Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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