so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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