He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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