called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
