he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
