You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
