I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
