I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize