If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
