I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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