so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
