dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
