Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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