I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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