Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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