they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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