wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
