Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
