I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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