I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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