What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize