Where are you?
In a non slutty way
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
