I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
