So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize