I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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