careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
