brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
