you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
