he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
