its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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